NY Post-It Notes
-The New York Post is my favorite newspaper. This section offers highlights of my favorite headlines and one-liners from the Post writers.
Front page headline announcing the birth of Donald Trump's baby:
You're Sired!
From Joel Sherman's column on the NY Yankees vs. Tampa Bay's journeyman pitcher, Paul Abbott:
"The Yankee lineup against Paul Abbott should be more one-sided than a rowboat with Pavarotti in it."
From a Mark Cannizzaro article about The Masters golf tourney, the following quote from Gary Player:
"Nobody remembers the guy who finished second except his wife and his dog...and that's only if he has a great wife and a great dog."
From an article about rising crime in the trendy neighborhood of Williamsburg:
"They may fix it up, but it's still Brooklyn."
Various items from a story about a woman who decided to rob banks to raise money for her cat's surgery:
"But robbing from the rich to give to the purrrr apparently gave Kaczanowski a taste for easy cash.."
"Her next target was a Chase branch where she allegedly added another $300 to her ill-gotten kitty."
Front page headline for this story: "Purrfect Crime"
Missed opportunities: The woman's cat was named Smoochie. How about a line about "Life for Smoochie" and also a reference to the alleged purrpetrator.
This item struck me as more amazing than funny. It gives you an idea of how good professional athletes are:
"Tiger Woods was among four players [bold italics mine] to card hole-in-ones at the annual [Masters] par-3 tournament."
Four players?! Are you kidding me?! I have trouble breaking par in miniature golf. Maybe it's time for me to try a different sport.
